When is the last time you heard someone begin an expository discussion with the disclaimer, “Now this is only my opinion and no matter how strongly I believe in it, what I am about to say to you may not be objective or factual, so let the listener beware!”?
I honestly can’t think of a time myself. (But, then, I also can’t remember where I last laid my reading glasses down thinking that I would “obviously” remember that they’re there when I need them.)
How often do you and I forget the difference between what is fact and what is really our opinion about a situation, a person, an institution, or even ourselves — an opinion that may, in fact, have no basis in objective, observable, substantiated behavior? I believe that many times this goes right to the heart of another challenge we all battle in our humanness: assumptions.
The funny thing is we actually believe our own opinions and assumptions so strongly at times that we firmly accept them as infallible truths. “Because I believe it to be so, it is!” If we come to work in the morning and someone doesn’t greet us with a smile and a cheery “Good morning!” how does that affect our day? Are we to assume that people just don’t like us and then walk around with an uninviting scowl on our face all morning just hoping (expecting) someone will notice and ask us what’s wrong? And if they don’t notice, do we chalk that up in the “See, I told you so” column?
You and I have a choice to make with every contact, every conversation, every text message, instant message, or email we take part in. The choice is simple. Will we base our beliefs on assumptions, opinions, and judgments of others, or will we work to “check our assumptions” in order to uncover the hidden truth? If we choose the latter, maybe – just maybe – we might do away with some of the drama and conflict in our lives and be able to enjoy life’s journey a little bit more.
So, here are some tips for wise:
- Don’t assume – check your own assumptions.
- Don’t declare your opinions as though they are facts.
- Don’t believe everything you feel, hear, read, or see.
- Learn to listen more, talk less, and seek truth in all you do
About the blogger:
John E. Trombley, organization development consultant and training with The Village Business Institute has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Alaska, Anchorage, and a Master of Management degree from the University of Mary, Fargo. Prior to founding his own organization development company, John served as a Command Pilot, Squadron Commander, and senior staff officer in the USAF and Air National Guard—he retired as a Lieutenant Colonel with over 6,200 flying hours.
With over 16 years of experience in providing consulting services and training programs, Trombley has a passion for group process facilitation and corporate training in areas including leadership development, change management, leadership transition processes, managerial coaching, and personality assessment workshops. He is registered with the Supreme Court of the State of Minnesota as a Qualified Neutral mediator, is trained in Critical Incident Stress Management Group Crisis Intervention, and is certified in Internal Investigations by the Council on Education in Management.
For more information, contact The Village Business Institute at 1-800-627-8220 or www.thevbi.com.